Shift back to Blogger

Hey people, Im moving back to blogger- the url is as follows

 www.therisenone.blogspot.com

the skin’s temporary, so i havent made much changes yet.

have a great week! 🙂

1231398012831208 sunrises later…

Hey,folks!  after what feels like 1231398012831208 ( this line’s so over-used  already! but nevermind. ) sunrises, I’m back on the blogging scene. Now how many times have I said that? 2131983719827391(poorly estimated) times. Haha. You probably are’nt here because you’ve been a faithful reader but I cant blame you cuz I havent been a faithful blogger either. lol. As usual- when you don’t update for this long there is just way tooooo many things that you want to say, but you cant say em all.

Let’s start with things @ home!

Mom’s still fighting cancer, but she’s still pressing on. Stronger than ever I believe! 2 rounds of chemo left before the doctors perform a stem cell operation and everything should be fine and dandy’! hohoho!

Common tests were terribleterribleterrible.shitshitshit.pftpftpft. I have zero confidence that I’d pass, heck I don’t know if I’ll fail with even a borderline grade!  So that probably told you one thing – a tragedy to th highest degree. That being said, there’s always the hopeful side of me which assures me that something good could actually come out of this,this… yeah this. I didn’t wanna say it. haha. but that’s just my point-  talk is cheap.even goals that we set and covenants that we make with God are nothing but pen and paper untill action is taken. Ive learnt this so many times Im ashamed to say I shouldve known that it would all come down to this.

DE tribe Adventure Camp was great! I could see that everyone enjoyed themselves- what really mattered was how God held the rain for us @ and even allowed the sun to shine through the clear blue(semi-grey skies) so we could carry out our activities safely and in peace(fear), I get soo scared on my way up the high elements that I did actually think about happy momments in my life to distract me from my fear of heights. Haha. so now you know ah. wait. I know some of you do that too,dammit. so im not alone.yeah THAT matters too!

above all though, I thank God that I was chosen to serve as a mentor because this experience proved to be really fruitful and I believe that will become increasingly evident in my walk with God as I begin to disciple people. and I caught a fresh revelation of what it means to love people. Perspective, choice, & action.Sounds simple enough,(cheesy, even) but it’s not easy, I know. Who ever said it was! Haha. It starts with how you see them, because that will determine the choices you make and eventually- your actions. I was encouraged by the fact that Clar chose to share something that was soooo close to her heart,too. It echoed a desire so real and apparent in every life that right there and then- almost anyone could relate. 

 Christmas eve was spent chillin’ @ Lionel’s place w/ the guys. Gotta love the open view from the living room!
 Christmas was spent chillin’ @ home. my relatives came over in the evening though and we had a feast+ wine. 😀 heh! I was watching gridiron gang and talking to mich over msn and my lil cousin was puzzled when I told her I was talking to a friend. So there you go, I introduced her to messenger. A 1 minute crash course. Hahahaha. I don’t even know if she remembers.  Woooooooooooooooohoooo I did it! this entry is half a 1000 words.  

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 In love You came

On Your shoulders carried our sin and shame

I’ll take you back.

It has been a rough week! haha. and im still amazed, as usual. amazed at how He reaches into my spirit and takes away the pain that weighs me down. without leaving a hint of frustration,disappointment, regret… Nothing. In its place His peace runs right through me and leaves me feeling completely different altogether, an experience so surreal words hardly do justice to its awesomeness! You’d be surprised at what God can do with 15 minutes.

 

I know it now, I know it because that 15 minutes was all He needed to restore the peace that I lost. I didn’t know how much I needed it, untill I walked in for prayer meeting, everything inside me felt undeserving but something drew me closer into His open arms- and there I found rest.There I found faith, to see what my heart so desperately desired – in His spirit I could see possibilities that my flesh didn’t know. I fought to believe before, and now I fight too, I fight to see it happen.

 What can stand against us? 

I still don’t know how to upload a video on youtube, so there you go- check this out!
  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpgOlnzew68&feature=related

A heart that bleeds forgiveness. Heh. :) 

Untill next time,

Gifford.

Sup peeps!

Has been ages!

Before you know it- the o level exams have written themselves into the history books of this year’s candidates, now soaked in ecstacy and loving every second of it. A thing of the past,they know call it? as for me,im five weeks into the second half of my first year in ngee ann. New modules,people,commitments… I guess at this point adapting isnt very much an issue, coping is! and im proud to say im doing a lil better than last sem, I think! 😀

We all get sucked into routine, inevtiably. This is who we are, confined by a system, a specific way of doing things. Throw in a little change and we’re forced to think of (a) a way out (b) a way into(routine again,that is.) (c) a way around. Or, (d) a way with(change).It does’nt take a genius to explain to you how your actions reflect the way you think in one way or another, even though they don’t always do justice to what goes on inside your head. that being said, more or less it does.

Our actions, which consitutes what we say and do- has, and will continue to affect the people around us. because they’re always out in the open for interpretation-  not everyone might know you as well as you think!

Enough said, it already sounds like an essay. heeh!

It does have personal implications,though. But! Let’s not hop/jump/dive our way into any conclusions, shall we? Well I don’t know if you can tell, but as usual my thoughts are floating around my head, which is getting heavier by the second. So once again, fatigue forces me to leave you. 

Till next time!     

I need to know.

 Sup people!

It’s 12.37AM, and im not supposed to be here. haha. I’ve got an oral presentation for Business Communications later at 9, and chances are, furious drum beats and screeching guitars are nearly futile- apparent from the last 2 weeks since this semester kicked off, on a slightly lower note than the last, I might add. Nonetheless, that is the least of my worries! 

 I wanted to post an update since 213912830129831236 days, but out of everything that’s racing through my head and fighting for attention, nothing ever comes out conclusively enough for me to actually finish writing and not feel as if it was not in place with how I felt.

Well Ive been reading some of my older entries on blogspot, and this one hits home, so there you go- 

My heart’s screaming for a clearer perspective about where my life is going,

Or it does, i just dont think its worth my time.ive been held back by doubts and overwhelmed by uncertainty, pulled down by fear and wiped out by insecurity,all of it eventually leading back to the reality that i dont know myself as much as i thought i did. i thought i could see every intricate detail that motivated my every action, i thought i knew fully well who i was and i didnt need anybody to tell me otherwise. in fact, i thought that i didnt like to be me, it just became a sort of chore having to smile at the world and laugh away the sillyness of life as if id make nothing of it when i really did.like i didnt care what people think, and they thought it would’nt matter when it does. there are a thousand thoughts racing through my head, fighting for attention. consumed by wants and plaged by needs, overwhelmed with commitment and responsibility but effectively tempted by fatal,brief spurts of enjoyment. satisfication meets longing in the wrong place and time altogether. questions never seem to have an answer.

 I have the key to unlocking a solution to all these problems.we all do. i just wish we wouldnt lose it so often.

[edit/]

and so here we are, writing the final chapters of 2007.as we look back though, what do we see?   unfortunately most of us don’t understand that the past is pretty telling, about what the future holds. In some ways. Either we don’t look back enough, or when we do, all we see is fear. of the lives we used to lead.What we see, is regret. and it  hold us back from the lives that we have to lead. It finds its way into our hearts as a theif conceives a scheme to carry out a successful heist, and before you know it- the future does’nt look any different,either.

What is the account that I will give to God at the end of this year, I ask.How faithful have I been with the little that I had, and the abundance of His riches which he then gives even though I really don’t deserve any of it? Where is the thirst for victory that kept me going, tearing my way across the cacaphony of the devil’s lying words and destructive waves of attacks? Is it even in sight to begin with?

I need to know. I need to know before I can move on.

Unfetterd

  

The fragility of a heart turned cold

A fire that burns so bright, snuffed out and sold

Passionate pursuits for truth and meaning

Where has all this led him to, except he sees that such is a life worth living 

The futility of an effort so bold

To the beautiful soul that dared,it will hold

A life from limitations unfettered

A dream takes flight,above circumstance it stays unwavered 

For what will silence voices so distinct

In the face of life’s greatest tragedies

the human spirit refuses to sink.

Every step has a story so great left behind

A line of his own he’s always wanted to find

Gifford; Unfettered.  

22nd October

 SUP PEOPLE! Considering the fact that I barely knew anyone in envoys, the camp was enjoyable,kinda! Haha.

Felt a little jittery at first but hey, it turned out okay. J 

  soooo.here we are,again. projects,assignments,tutorials, fresh commitments and responsibilities, all packed into the same 16 weeks. Just like last semester. the only thing that holds me together is the covenant that I have with God.

The only thing that will keep my senses functional and give me the stregth I need to do what I cannot do by my own strength and ability, is this convenant. 

anyways,I have decided to take up FRENCHHHH as an elective module next sem! 😀 and it turns out Gerald and Weiyan are interested as well. awwwwwsome.

  aight, im really running out of things to say-it just feels like I need to say something but it’s not coming out right. as always.pft. 

anddd im off, to read a book. Victoria if you’re reading this- thannnks for recommending something. will get to it sooon!

If you’re taking your o levels and you’re reading this,pushhhhhhhhhh! 😉 renew your strength in the one above!                       

A leap of faith into Your arms of grace

 The strength to fight untill I see Your face

17th October

  third  day into my second semester in ngee ann,

I guess it’s all good, more or less.

I did my tutorial for business stats like, right after lecture on the first day of school. 😀

Business Communications tutorial on the second day was kinda boring, but it was’nt because of the fact that it was at 9 in the morning or because Boon and I were 30 mins late, I just thought Bcomm was gonna be conducted IS module style, relaxed and all but enriching,nontheless! 

Jerry,Ilias and I headed over to town after about an hour of pool.

bumped into Victoria, I didn’t even know untill she texted me! We walked past 2 IJ girls on our way to topman and we just sorta looked at each other blankly like we were supposed to know each other or something,and then we went our separate ways. hahahaha.

Ilias bought 4 tee shirts, 2 of them from topman mind you. and Jerry,thanks to us- came across this Victorinox bag(the swiss army knife brand, I see those question marks already. lol) much to his excitement! Haha!but it was bloody expensive. and I, I just looked around, hands in my empty pockets.

CATS(Creativity and Applied Thinking Skills), which is one of my IS modules- was… I don’t know. It just,does’nt look like we’re gonna have as much fun as we did during IAC or LMS last sem.that being said, who knows what the future will hold! heh.right after CATS was our Sports and Wellness briefing, and the fact that it was smack after class didn’t help. unfortunate details aside, im stuck with touch rugby but who knows what’s in store for us there man! at least ive got Jerry,Boon and Jiankai-we’d be owning,yo. hah!

swwwweet- after all this time im finally checking out the school’s gym tomorrow. then im probably gonna cash out my fifty bucks pay cheque and spendddddddd.  

IPod Touch :O

I

WANT

THIS

LIKE,SOOOOON 😀

The Ipod touch.

effing cooool aint it! apple zealot, I have become. hahaha.

http://store.apple.com/1800-MY-APPLE/WebObjects/singaporestore.woa/wa/RSLID?nnmm=browse&mco=3587D03A&node=home/shop_ipod/family/ipod_touch

here’s where you can check out the specs. neat hurs! gonna take me a long time to save up for this,though. S$498 at retail price,probably takes me untill the end of the year. Or I could wait till my 18^th and ask my folks to sponsor me with $200 and I’ll fork out the rest. Sounds like a plan! Woah tiredness is kicking in. I should start sleeping earlier for my own good. heh.

Steamboat tonight, I think! At 2.45am,yes- I am hungry. :O

Salvation

 

ascend into the heights where we’ll tear apart our childish ambitions

and find the freedom we once knew

the life we fight so hard to live,one that’s without restriction

who are they to question, they’re just like us too.

I’ve resigned to the fact that this is just who we are. Consciously or not we’re craving for the absence of restriction,because the lives we’ve been leading continue to convince us that this is the world that we live in- one of judgement. Judgement that feeds the fear we have in our hearts. Judgement that fuels anger and propels us towards hatred. Judgement that provokes violence. Judgement that will eventually have all of us deceived, you and I. Judgement that will eradicate the need for the lives we once used to lead. Lives that were simple, content.Lives that knew peace.Lives that were free.all of that is lost, lost because we’re driven by material needs. Lost because we are cursed by a constant lust after selfish wants. Lost because we’re plagued by anxiety.Lost because we’re constantly living in fear, worry,regret.they will bleed us dry before we know it.our fight for freedom concludes emptiness. The truth hits so hard it echoes through our souls and we cringe at the pain. The kinda pain that burns right through our conscience.The kinda pain that paints death for some and hope for others, others who come to their senses and understand that freedom isnt about living without restrictions. It is about choosing to live in spite of restrictions.

This is the freedom we once knew.The kinda freedom that we can only find when we look to god. When we take ourselves above the lies that continue to burden this society, we’ll see that our ambitions are childish. Its stupid,really. how we trust this world to provide for us. how our fight to defend our fragile selves result in nothing but defeat because we believe that our abilities will take us somewhere above another and this kills the demon inside us, the one that teaches us to draw the line which seperates the haves and have-nots. The demon that incites judgement. This is who we’re fighting. Not each other. This is the salvation that we seek, that we rise above who and what the world needs us to be and escape its hold. Liberation is the salvation that we seek,from who we’re becoming.