Push!

Okay, so I have’nt exactly achieved my goal of being disciplined enough to stick with a proper work-out routine coupled with a diet that completely excludes instant noodles with the exception of the occasional bag of chips that you just don’t seem to be able to avoid every now and then. Despite that,however, I have to say I’m rather pleased with myself for being determined enough to head out and run for at least half an hour twice this week. Although it’s already the 7^th week before I return to a life of sleepy bus rides,red bulls and mocha before lectures, tutorials you’re never able to complete, projects, the occasional activities which give you a much needed high,the list goes on- in np. The kinda life that so aptly defines what the first semester was like for me as a student there. But yes, as I was saying… It’s never too late to start now,right?

In fact,the next two years leading up to my enlistment in the army will be crucial because it determines the ease with which I survive the brutal training routines and blood-thirsty officers bent on pushing you to the edge of what you thought you were able to handle. The physical challenge and the battle that wages in your head threaten to destroy your sanity and convince you to give up and just die. The point is, training does’nt begin when you step into the army. It begins now. Failure thrives on procrastination. It feeds on your reluctance,weakens your will and amplfies your passiveness. Not gonna let that happen.

I see some progress from tonight where building up my endurance is concerned! My muscles were still screaming and my lungs felt the heat as usual, but I was able to push my limits a little more and I realised that there was some consitency compared to Monday! Ran for about a whole hour! I don’t consider myself to be in any condition to participate in a marathon anytime soon, but I deffinitely wanna keep up this routine, throw in the gym and a balanced diet- and work my way up to kick-ass condition for one at the end of 2008! Of course,there will be a lot of sacrifice and pain going into this. It’s a long ride man.

The choices I make will reflect how badly I want it.

No title, HAHAHA.

 the thrill of throwing a fake forward and creating space to soar and release a shot past a stunned opponent’s hands

the thrill of driving into the paint and getting around the big guys,then feel the wind against your face as you slice your way past them to take the ball home

the thrill of being driven into a corner and blood rushing to your head as you briefly consider some of the craziest plays you’re about to do on the court

the thrill of basketball.

I remember this time when this HUGE fella came up against me on defence and  forced me all the way into the right lane. I was caught without any chances to bring the ball out, so I did something crazy. I threw a fake forward and created some space when he backed down a little, then took one step out from the baseline and tried a jumpshot on him just off the 3-point line. I don’t know why I did it, probably out of desperation;I was’nt playing very well that day and our team was on the losing end.When I released the ball as I uttered a short prayer, his hands came up and I felt fear crippling me in mid-air, next thing I knew though, “swoooosh!”.

Sacred.

The kinda faith that defies the impossible, Hahaha. the adrenaline rush rocks your wolrd man.

But that was then! I have’nt played since ages! Even though I wasn’t short of opportunities la. I don’t know, fill in the blanks! _____________

Back in high school just before o’ levels I used to listen to different kinds of music and rehease game plays mentally to suppress the urge to play.  Haha!

MMM. 

Just a simple thought to leave you with, “Pride gets nothing out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man” CS Lewis

Learn to appreciate what you have and make the best out of it,

instead of fighting for what you do not have and end up making the worst of what you have.

A life that is based on a constant lust for what it cannot have,

Will end up in misery when it loses everything it once had and nothing is left.

God gave me a life that’s meant to be thankful for what I already have and it is this attitude by which we live in fellowship with God and His people, replacing shame with glory at the cross where he laid down his life so that we might live.  In this day and age that you and I live in,choosing to strip ourselves of our pride isnt as easy as it sounds- but when you really think about this, who we are and who we wanna be in this world  is so insignificant compared to the eternal purposes in God’s kingdom that He has created you and I for!

Countering Counter-Productivity

 

alrights before we sink our teeth into the apple(read content that is actually;yes, believe it- relevant to the title)…

Woah, I have like five mozzie bites la! 2 on my left elbow, 1 on my right, 1 on my left chest and 1 on my upper left back. I’ve been fighting the urge to scratch for about 5 minutes now. please be proud of me okay!

Uh-hurs now that I’ve released some randomness, probably inciting reactions such as… “WTH -.-“, or “##$%^& we didn’t need to know that you have 5 #$%^&* mozzie bites you #$%^&*” perhaps, “Yeah, yeah okay, so am I supposed to cry with you?”

13 days & counting to the 2^nd semester of Business & Information Technology in Ngee Ann Polytechnic, and as our seven weeks of vacation come to an end, I look back and realise that I have’nt exactly achieved what I set out to achieve at the start.In fact if there is one word to describe this 5 weeks or so, it has to be this: UNPRODUCTIVE! *silence*

Theatrics aside,I believe it is time to be proactive about living the last 2 weeks to its fullest!

I know that’s easy to say, so the incredibly sensible Gifford that you and I both know has decided to draw up a plan which will list and prioritise my activities,commitments and responsibilities for the rest of 2007 along with action plans which will serve as practical guidelines to how I could achieve what I’ve set out to do and leave as little regrets behind as possible.

As with every plan, every goal that you and I set- discipline and flexibility are crucial for success. Most of the people that you and I know, including ourselves- fail because we either lack in one or take things too far with the other.

In conclusion, the two weeks leading up to next sem will be absolutely crucial for me to form strategies and tactics- a battle plan to counter counter-productivity.

Tuned Into : Placebo

and just uttered a prayer for a superpower- Your new hero in town- Gifford, the one who saves $ and knows when he should spend and when he should’nt. HAHAHHAHAHAHAH

😉

Here we are again!

mmm,sorry peeps… I’ve disappeared from the wordpress scene for about 4 days now!  xD

I’ve been writing for the past day or two, in fact. I just never finished what I started out with, for one reason or another it just didn’t fit in with the thoughts that have been running through my head these days… haha…aights, enough of the uninteresting humdrum-

<!–[if !supportLists]–>Ø      <!–[endif]–>> mom’s experiencing almost no side effects since her second round of chemo; while fatigue’s inevitably an issue- she’s otherwise  in good spirits! This is no excuse to let up in prayer though,it’s great having y’all praying with us at home, so let’s press in and hold this fort untill she’s completely recovered! Even then, let’s pray that her testimony will serve as an encouragement and assurance of God’s faithfulness!

<!–[if !supportLists]–>Ø  <!–[endif]–>    >You don’t need to know exactly what happened, but here’s what it’s all about- conflict! An inevitable part of most, if not all relationships.and im thankful, yes, thankful for one such situation because those of us involved were able to grow from it. The Lord reminded me of what Lionel shared just before cell group 2 Saturdays before, about pushing the peace that you and I have with each other to the edge because we’re choosing to love and so what we say and do in order to correct each other can come across as annoying and uncalled for to the other.it was also an apt reminder about how things could turn nasty if our hearts are left unchecked for one second, when we let our guards down and satan slips into our heads to  spew his lies,lies that could destroy relationships, with almost anything from angry impulsive words to violent outbursts.last but not least, through surrendering our pride and stubborness at the cross,we’re allowing peace to enter our hearts again, and given patience to walk through the process of reconcilliation, broken relationships will receive restoration and go deeper than ever before!

<!–[if !supportLists]–>Ø  <!–[endif]–>    >Bjorn Liu turns 16 today! yee-haw! Heh!  Bjorn Ng and I joined the rest at Parklane a little later for about half an hour of pool before we caught Balls of Fury later in the evening.If you’d like a review…

<!–[if !supportLists]–>Ø  <!–[endif]–>     Balls of Fury

Rates low on laughs! Midly laughter- inducing content incited reactions such as “HAHAH WTF!”, “ LOL OMG!”, “OUCH WTH!” through and through! 2/5

Rates low on action packed content! Uninteresting fight scenes did not succeed in keeping you on the edge of your seat, in place for a good laugh to throw you off and spill cheese/popcorn/your drink all over the place. Okaaaay so that’s not exactly what you and I would want either, but you get the point! 2/5

Rates low on plot! Ping Pong hero turned bum seeks justice, Bum finds friends, friends seek justice, friends and bum finds baddies, baddies fight bum and friends,baddies lose! 2/5!

all in all you might conclude that Balls of Fury are worthy of competing with Epic Movie- another no brainer all laughs in the league for an explosive plunge into the depths of Box office history.

Final rating:2/5

<!–[if !supportLists]–>Ø  <!–[endif]–>    >Facebook is awesomest! I got hooked the minuted I signed up, y’all should check it out if you have’nt already done so! uber la! beats friendster which gets hit with a virus every so often, with loads of functions and applications which threaten to put friendster out of business!

 

Currently tuned into : Demonology & Heartahce –Atreyu

And feeling really,really tired.

Heh.

Till next time. 😉

 

c

 

 

  

Once Bitten, Twice Shy.

I lost my wallet once, I lost my wallet twice

The first felt like a punch,

the second I just wished I’d die

I prayed so hard and days went by

I lodged a report and started to cry(okay I didn’t la! it just ryhmes okay!)

Then one lazy afternoon

Didn’t think I’d get it back

No, not anytime soon

When this man comes knocking on my door

I was happy as ever to have answered that call,

Because in his hands

Was my wallet with everything in it,

dollars and cents

Twice I lost it,

Twice it passed through honest hands.

The Space In Between Us

 

Look at my heart again,look at the mess I’ve got it in

Im learning to trust in You,I’ll know that You’ll see me through

Through my pride and through my shame, Into Your love Into Your grace

Im not looking back ’till I see Your face

I’m runnin straight to You because

All I really wanna do is to fall into the emptiness that is

The space in between us

To break this division

All I really wanna do is to fall into

the emptiness that is the space in between us

erase it and bring us together again

My life’s an open book,

Nothing’s hidden when You look

You break through my boundries,revealing my insecurities

But through my pride and through my shame

You show me love, You show me grace

Im not looking back ‘till I see Your face, Im running straight to You

-lyrics to The Space In Between Us, by Building 429.

hey folks!

this song’s incredible huh! I thought it served as a timely reminder that God sees through the strong fronts that we put up, right into the brokeness and fear that we fight on the inside, and that none of that is really important because when our hearts are set on seeking god in every situation in our lives, we find the freedom to fall into the emptiness because it leads us back to him.

 

 

and in You lies all the answers I’ll ever need;

 

What I need ‘stead of what I want
Not my will but Yours be done

With strength from the one above

I’ll learn to trust and I’ll learn to love

 

I get tired.

we are self-serving,self-seeking people.

every morning I wake up to the cold, hard reality that this is who we easily become when we turn our hearts away from god for just one momment, when we choose to let our guards down and allow the devil to tear apart our faith and sink his lying teeth into our heads, sending his poison running through our blood, washing out  any hint of righteousness in us.we are’ compelled’ to our insensitive, god-denying actions because it’ justifies’ our circumstances.

I get tired of constantly having to fight this, I do. I get tired of judging eyes and lying words. I get tired of pretending,plastic faces. That’s just what I become too,sometimes. and sometimes it leaves me sick at the end of it, disgusted.

Never Out Of Sight.

 

times like these are the reason why we’re strong

the people we love are the ones who’ll keep us going on;

each day as I awake to the wailing guitars blaring from my phone, the sunlight streams in and teases my eyes as I stretch and roll flat the other way,then bury my face in my pillow- I know its morning.I know there’s a reason why im still fighting this, I know that if you were not with me I’dprobably lose the will to fight, and allow the things and people that life throw at me to dissolve my defences and bleed me dry from the inside.the truth I hold on to tears apart all pretence,the faith I try to walk so closey with lifts me above every circumstance. Your righteous character eradicates all my carnal desires and sets me apart for greater things I was destined to inherit as your precious child.You watch every step that I take,you understand the pain that eats away at me but you’re careful not to let it consume me.you’ll never let me out of your sight. I need you hold me, will you?

I know you will.

how amazing, that every step I take away from you leaves me no further than I was before from your sight.

 

 

 

 

(1:59 PM) –       MICHELLE:	MIFFORD.
(1:59 PM) –       MICHELLE:	im gichelle!
(1:59 PM) –       MICHELLE:

and so I was.

 

Michelle and I eventually decided that Mifford was to be a sock puppet, and so I created Mifford, the sock monster. How do you like him? 😉

 

 

Step Up, Stand Out, Do something.

You’d never believe this, butttttt! Just when you thought the fortunate bastard writing now actually managed to retrieve his wallet from some kind soul who picked it up and decided to flip the yellow pages just so he could reach me, think again! no one called this time, so I decided to make a police report this afternoon and cancel my nets card. Im not sure about my IC though, they just increased the replacement fees to $100 SGD. Yep, quit laughing you idiots. Haha.i could either wait another day to see if the asswipe who picked it up decides that the guilt is too much for his dishonest soul to bear and turns my thing up at the lost and found or something, or id have to make a trip to report my ic as lost and fork out the ke-ching! Painful lesson, gifford. note to self.

thanks to the collective effort of my aunties, the kitchen looks bloody decent now, compared to what it was just yesterday- food rotting away at corners of the fridge that we never knew existed to begin with; everything was, in short,all over the place. and nothing was easy enough to find. Haha. In fact, the house looks wayyyyy better now. so kudos- I just thought their selfless contribution of time and energy deserved appreciation and will go a long way for all of us at home.

Before I cross into my second semester in ngee ann in just less thn a month, I feel that it is about time that I decided what I want and conclusively draw up an action plan and actually do something about it before it’s too late and I end up caught in a vicious cycle leading to debilitating grades from one sem to the next.It happened before, it could happen again. What does it take to make this time diffferent, you know this gifford.you’ve been here too many times for your own good.

 

Step up,stand out, and do something.

 

Lead me to the cross,where your love poured out

Bring Me to me knees,Lord I lay me down

Rid me of myself, I belong to you

O lead me, Lead me to the cross.

It’s weeeeee 2.43am and I can barely stay awake,let alone think.heh.

‘nights.

Lead Us as You Will

Snapped up like hotcakes,baby!

Yea, and here’s why. today the year ones were supposed to choose their preferred timeslots for our timetable next semester.so what happens is that the different sets of timeslots will be flashed for about an hour on the school’s webpage before it opens up for registration.So Ashley,Jerry,Ilias,Weiyan,Gerald,Enkai,Boon and myself hauled our butts to ngee ann at 10.50am so we could discuss and choose something together.we conclusively decided that T21 was the best option, with consistent break times and modules evenly spead along the week, that was our best bet. We did consider T22 though, that wouldve been a good alternative. The third set sucked, it just did. Haha.

So at 12 when it was due to open for selection, we were all armed and ready to fire.

But the @#$%^&*(_) thing opened up a little later and when it did, most of us failed to get T21. Some of us couldn’t even choose a class because the limit was reached for every set, whateverrrr la. but eventually Ilias,Gerald,Jiankai,Ashley and I sucessfully registered for T22, the rest except for enkai were registered into T21. Weiyan,Jerry and Boon. Enkai could only choose T23, which was effing sad but as I write I believe he’s fighting for a spot in T21/T22 till the second round closes at 2am.

timetables have never excited us this much.

So this means Im going to see faces that I know, about 6 of em including the girls from our tutorial group if im not wrong. and some new ones, let’s just pray that the people in our tutorial group this time are generally good people to work,and play with.

your will above all else.!

okaaaaaay, however god decides it should be. haha. oh so pray for the peace to accept his decision then. lol. and the joy to know that it will be for my good.

Uh-huh thenwe pooled @ mambo for about one hour before I hit the road to meet qiuling at vivo. Where I @#$%^& left my wallet at the rooftop where we were just nuah-ing away. hehe. Yay and I only realised when we stepped into carl’s jr. to cut to the chase,this elderly couple buzzed my neighbours, I think they flipped the yellow pages or something. and left a contact along with their address. Hallelujah, gotta love em. so I think I’ll buy fruits on my way to pick my wallet up,should I? 😀 Yeah I should. Heh.

 

I decided to have a good talk with mummy before she turned in,and it really encouraged me to know that she’s willing to fight this. I reminded her that its okay to feel hopeless and tired every now and then, but she has to fight. I don’t always know what to do, but if its one thing I know, it is that im willing to stand with you as you fight. I just need to see that you’re willing, I just need to see that you understand what ive told you,that we have to fight for what we know god wants to do in our lives because we first have to show this, that we are willing. It gets tougher yet, but we must be willing.

This is the day that the lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.

 

with a thankful heart, o god- I surrender our lives again into your hands, lead us as you will. teach us to be still.